Dear Mrs. Pettigrew, My name is Major Comfort and I am writing to you to clear up a matter of great importance. It seems a grave mistake has been made. A woman by the name of Lucretia Lynch arrived in town claiming to be my mail-order bride. The trouble is, I didn't send for one My guess is my father is behind this. His name is Buford Comfort, and for some insane reason he thinks I should marry. Yesterday Unfortunately, so does my so-called mail-order...