If you can read this, you obviously understand Pigeonese. You may read my book. If you're a cat and you've learnt Pigeonese... (HA HA HA As if a cat would be smart enough to learn Pigeonese). This must mean if you are a cat and you are able to read this, you have taken a pigeon hostage so that you can trick them into translating the Pigeonese words into Meow. I demand you release the hostage pigeon now. My book contains TOP SECRET ideas that are...