Date or Soul Mate?: How to Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less

by Neil Clark Warren

Book Overview

He feels a strong attraction to her. She wonders if he could be "the one." In the glamorous haze of early romantic attraction it's hard to know whether a relationship will lead to true love-or to a negative or even catastrophic relationship. This book helps men and women who want healthy and satisfying marriages identify the early warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. Dr. Warren shows readers how to hold out for God's best for their lives...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 078528303X
• ISBN13: 9780785283034
• Release Date: September 2005
• Publisher: Tommy Nelson
• Length: 224 Pages
• Weight: 0.51 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.2" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

Exceptional

Absolutely recommend it! This book is an amazing tool to understanding yourself and the dynamics of dating. It assists you through self-discovery and how to articulate the type the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. I think every single person should read this book before making any long-term commitments! Also, if you are already in a relationship and have doubts - it can also help you identify the source of your frustrations and how to end the dating relationship before heading to marriage. As for e-harmony - many people that say they had a bad experience is due to putting up false & unrealistic expectations for the service. Like any on-line service- you need to check & research everyone you attempt to pursing communication. E-harmony doesn't do security, investigative or credit checks so don't expect that everyone you meet will be honesty & clean. (If you read Dr. Warren message - he explains this very thorougly)Another thing to keep in mind, is that the service doesn't promise that you will meet your dream partner and happily get married. It is just a tool to help you meet additional people ideally closer to your personality that you wouldn't normally meet on a regular basis. You still have to do the work in identifying whether this person is truly the best match for you. Be smart, wise and don't put yourself in compromising or dangerous situations. This book will definitely help you put dating in the RIGHT PERSPECTIVE!

Date . . . Or Soul Mate? How to know if someone is worth pursuing in Two Dates Or less

This is an outstanding book if you are interested in dating consciously. Very good tools for finding out your own values and what is important to you in choosing a lifetime partner. Not only will you be able to consciously date and find someone truly suitable for you but also is an exceptional guide for looking deeper into yourself. I found it to be excellent in looking deeper at what I want in my life and in a mate. I totally recommend it to anyone wanting higher quality dating.

Focused, Relevant and Critical Info for identifying a Match

If you are looking for a your soulmate/life time partner- this book contains lots of good information about specific areas that you and your potential spouse should have in common. Whether you know exactly what you are looking for, or have no idea, this book is a good read- and has some critical info to consider - while you are searching for your lifetime partner. You know how we all get "twitter-pated" - or "stupid" when our heart and hormones are revved up. This helps your head stay in charge of the process- so you hopefully don't end up marrying someone or dating someone too long- before you know whether it's a solid long lasting match. There's lots of wisdom and specific information here for the novice or even the cynic relationship survivor. Highly recommend it.

Get "beyond chemistry" by using this book!

Date. . . or Soul Mate? How to Know if Someone is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less, by Neil Clark Warren, Ph.D., is an extremely practical dating guide from the founder of eHarmony.com. The book is like a handbook on the psychology of compatibility and time management. And it provides tools and tips for making the dating process as effective and time-efficient as possible. As a dating and relationship coach working with singles looking for a life partner relationship, I had heard a lot about eHarmony.com and its particular protocol. Clients tell me that rather than sort through various online dating profiles themselves, eHarmony.com has you first take a personality test. From the results of that test, members are then introduced to other members that, according to Dr. Warren's formula, they would be most compatible with. In my live lectures and virtual teleclasses, I frequently have stated my agreement with Chapter 2 of the book entitled "Know Yourself." I have heard singles claim they already know everything about dating and relationships, but complain about still being single. I use this chapter, and the ones that follow, "Your Must-Have and Can't-Stand Lists," to direct singles to identify what they're looking for in a partner. Dr. Warren generously provides readers with the fifty most popular must-haves, and the fifty most popular can't-stands, to help articulate what frequently has become an amorphous blob of an ideal mate, that they will only recognize by chemistry. Once you have these lists, Dr. Warren suggests that you "burn them into your brain," as they will now serve as your "shopping list" for finding your soul mate. He describes how to be "other conscious" rather than "self-conscious" while dating, and suggests areas to question your dates about to help you determine if your must-haves and can't stands will be met. He addresses the importance of emotional health and its powerful effect on compatibility. These chapters provide great directions on how to navigate the frequently confusing dating waters.I found the section on "Seven Significant Similarities" in chapter 8's "Differences You Must Not Overlook" especially important. In his 30 years of practicing as a psychologist and working with singles and couples, Dr. Warren has identified certain key similarities that strongly contribute to marital success. They are: 1) spiritual harmony; 2) desire for verbal intimacy and ability to be intimate; 3) level of energy; 4) level of ambition; 5) expectations about gender roles; 6) interests, and 7) personal habits. I found the last one, personal habits, to be the most eye opening. Dr. Warren contends that the degree to which one person attends to neatness and orderliness in his/her life, should not differ too much from those of whom he is dating. I don't think I would have given this life habit much credence before I read the book. Rather, I would have suggested that it wouldn't be until a couple were living together that they would create

A Practical Guide to Evaluating Similarities and Differences

The most useful part of this book is the list of 10 must haves and the 10 can't stands. This allows one to screen potential mates quickly. Warren points out that the chief reason for divorce is the common practice of settling for someone that has one or more of the "can't stand" items. This is usually rationalized as "I may never find anyone else", etc. The limit of 10 is a practical compromise between, say, 5 and 100 items. It accounts for the most crucial areas of compatibility and incompatibility to be accounted for, yet without being so selective that one would never be able to find a mate.