Dads and Daughters: How to Inspire, Understand, and Support Your Daughter When She's Growing Up So Fast

by Joe Kelly and Joe Kelly

Book Overview

Every father can make a huge difference in his daughter's life.

As the primary male role model in a girl's life, fathers influence their daughters in profound ways, from how they see themselves to what they come to expect from men and the world at large. But men often don't realize the importance of their interactions or may shy away from too close involvement because of their inexperience, or conditioning. Especially as girls move into adolescence,...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0767908341
• ISBN13: 9780767908344
• Release Date: May 2003
• Publisher: Harmony/Rodale
• Length: 272 Pages
• Weight: 0.48 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.3" x 8.1"

Customer Reviews

Great book for good dads

This book has help me value my daughter even more. I can now work on making our life experiences the best as possible. For being a single dad this book has help me to realize that I am doing a good job for being a dad away from home. If you are open to suggestions and learning more about raising a daughter and making her childhood the best it can be then this is a book for you. I grew up as a boy with three brothers and have no idea of how girls grow up. Thanks to this book now I do.

Real father's voices -- essential reading

This is a powerful book. The anonymous reviewer from Lafayette, CA seems to have missed the point of the book; the author states clearly right at the start that he is not an academic, a therapist or a researcher. He bases his reflections on the voices of REAL dads and his own 20+ years experience as a father. As Kelly states, "fathering is more art than science." The anonymous reviewer from Lafayette (unintentionally?) reveals a major problem in material on the daughter-father relationship by referring us to a pamphlet about "parents." Such information is obviously valuable, but so is Dads and Daughters - finally a book by a father, filled with other fathers' voices, about this consistently neglected relationship. Kelly's book fills a glaring gap.Dads and Daughters is a MUST read for any man with a daughter, and for any woman who ever had a father. It is robust proof of the power of fathers' words - a power that developmental psychology or other science just doesn't provide in the same way.

The book is fabulous and a must for dads with daughters

I'd also recommend it for daughters with dads, mom's with husbands, brothers with sisters, uncles, stepparents, and so on.... In a sentence, the book offers intelligent and thoughtful insights as well as practical suggestions on how to think about one's role as a parent and how to explore what a father can offer his daughter if he really sets his mind to the loving task of raising her.The book's foundation is the author's inspiring vision of fatherhood. This vision involves the dad who might on Monday write a letter to a company protesting an ad that promotes unhealthy body images for girls. On Tuesday he patiently sits at the dining room table and listens to his daughter describe a problem, while limiting himself to facilitating her effort to solve or resolve it on her own. On Wednesday, he gets dirty with her playing soccer. On Thursday, they talk about boys and he shares, with honesty and openness the good and bad she can anticipate in her relationships. On Friday, he swallows the feeling of rejection when she's angry with him and won't even say why, and he ends up seeking advice from another dad he's friends with. On Saturday, his patience pays off and he accepts her invitation to help out in a volunteer activity she's organizing. And on Sunday he asks her to help in return, fixing a leak under the kitchen sink with him--making sure she learns how the plumbing works in the process.Not every dad does all of this, but what a great world it would be if they did and this book can help more fathers assess themselves and turn more of their parenting potential into a reality.-Gary

A Life-Changing Work

If this book ever achieves the popularity it so richly deserves, there is no doubt in my mind that it will be trashed by some groups in the U.S. society. If that level of acceptance is ever achieved remember to read it before you judge or accept someone elses judgement of it. This book will challenge you. It will force you to evaluate your place as a father, and your place in the world as it affects girls. As the author states in the Foreword, it may offend. It is not written from a Christian perspective and it is not written from Atheistic perspective. It is about exactly what the title states.There are two things that are almost universally true for all fathers of daughters. 1.) We don't talk to anyone at all about our jobs as parents. 2.) We did not grow up as girls (Ok, this one is universally true.) What Joe Kelly does in Dads and Daughters is point out that these are two of several major hurdles we must accomplish to be good dads. Luckily, he also provides great information on how to overcome these hurdles.Covering the first hurdle brings surprises. In his research, Joe interviewed dozens of fathers from all walks of life. In that research he found common themes. Themes that each of us as dads of daughters know to be true for us, but have no idea that there is another soul on the planet with the same concerns, the same desires, the same stories. He points to our lack of father to father communication and says, "here are some ways to fix that."The second hurdle is obvious once stated but not so clear until then. We grew up as boys, and generally find girls as perplexing as we did when we were their age. That is a problem for a grown up boy given the task of raising a girl. The tools that our fathers used with us (if we were lucky enough to have that father) probably will not work with your daughter. And quitting is not an option. (For what it's worth, you the humble reader may find that some of the techniques Kelly describes are just as useful with the grown up girl that is the mother of your daughter.)With Dads and Daughters, Kelly forces us to turn the light of understanding inward to see so many things that we already know, but forgot. Most of us imagine ourselves cleaning the shotgun when our daughter's beau comes a callin' yet almost none of us remember our own insecurities and true desire to find love when we were that age. Many of us have grown comfortable in the role of secondary parent; many of us have forgotten how important we are.It is incontrovertabile that your concern and love for your daughter brought you to look at the details of this book. What you may not realize is how important of a role you do have now, through her adolesence, and beyond. You may not realize what you need to be for your little princess. This book will help, and if you're like me it might re-awaken those feelings of unrestrained joy, love, and hope that you had the first time you saw her and realized, she was your daughter and y

News dads can use

Joe Kelly has been in the trenches for 20 years as the father of twin girls and he brings great news: dads can experience unconditional love while raising strong, healthy daughters. His book is jammed with moving insights and concrete tools for being the best dad possible. I wish my father had read this book when I was young, but my husband will definitely have a copy on his nightstand from now on. And I'm betting he'll enjoy reading Kelly's clear, lively prose.