Choosing Lovers: Patterns of Romance, How You Select Partners in Intimacy, the Ways You Connect, and Why You Break AP

by Martin Blinder

Choosing Lovers, an all-encompassing picture of romantic relationships in all their richness and complexity, provides answers to questions everyone considers: * Why of all the people in the world have... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0944435041
• ISBN13: 9780944435045
• Release Date: September 1989
• Publisher: Glenbridge Publishing
• Length: 222 Pages
• Weight: 0.68 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.1" x 6.3" x 9.3"

Customer Reviews

Relationships--Crucibles for Emotional Development

I picked up this short book in paperback for a dollar at a local used book store. I was a little put off by the title, but this is really a wonderfully informative little book on the types of romantic relationships, the dynamics of attraction, and why love often does not last. It shares its main theme with the more expansive book Passionate Marriage in that it focuses on the importance of relationships as crucibles for emotional development. This book could be healing for people going through divorce or other painful breakups because it focuses on the personal growth that--even bad--relationships spur: "Even hugely unhappy, painful and seemingly destructive love relationships in fact constitute adaptation rather than psychopathology-psychological evolution rather than disorder; that each teaches us what we most need to know when we most need to know it; and that our serial choice of lovers is perhaps the most visible, objective measure of our emotional growth and development" (xi). I'm giving it 5 stars because it is a quick read and every page is golden.

A Must Read!

This is one of the BEST self-help books I've ever read about relationships. The author explains the different types of love relationships -- what makes them work, what makes them fail, and why people are drawn to others -- and it is amazing how quickly the reader can apply the categories to past and present amours. The author uses examples that the reader can easily relate to and understand. This is extremely valuable information, and I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has ever failed at romantic relationships in the past and would like to succeed at one (just one!) in the future. Personally, I have it almost memorized and have given it to many of my fellow singles with the hope that next time, armed with knowledge and awareness, we will do better.