By the Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead

by Julie Anne Peters

Book Overview

A significant book about one girl's struggle with suicide. Daelyn is fifteen years old, and in her mind she is a failure. She tried slitting her wrists, and she was rescued. She tried swallowing chemicals, and after burning through her esophagus enough to lose the ability to speak, she was rescued. But this time will be different. As readers see Daelyn's touching friendship with a quirky seventeen year-old boy develop and her newfound willingness...

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1423116186
• ISBN13: 9781423116189
• Release Date: January 2010
• Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
• Length: 224 Pages
• Weight: 0.85 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 5.8" x 8.5"
• Age Range: 11 to 14 years
• Grade Range: Grades 6 to 9

Customer Reviews

Read this book!!!

This book was so good even though it’s mainly a sad book you will go through every emotion reading it. I highly recommend this book.

Sad but a great book.

This story hit my heart. I have been down the road of thinking about suicide, and am a recovering cutter; which was a result of my home life and being bullied in school. So I could relate to this story on many levels. But I would definitely read it many times.

Heartbreaking Story

This is a good book. It is very heart-breaking to hear about what the main character has gone through. You see her struggles with suicide and self-harm and her ability to make friends. It touches on a lot of very sensitive subjects but overall it is a good read. The end is quite confusing because I believe the author wanted to leave it up to personal interpretation. Great story overall, though. Just be warned, it is very hard to read in terms of the things it talks about.

Dark, Disturbing, and Life-Changing

I was afraid to read this book. I didn't know how I emotionally would handle the subject matter. I won't lie: this book was devastatingly hard to read. That being said, rarely have I felt my life so completely altered after reading a book. Julie Anne Peters should win an award for this one. Though it is dark and disturbing and painful, we should all remember that coming "through the light" is painful. For the narrator, this phrase comes to mean very different things throughout the novel. The reader goes through the same process. I also believe that this book is the most powerful statement against bullying that I have ever come across. At the end, I felt as if I had experienced the pain and agony along with Daelyn. However, by the end, I felt a positive resolution had been reached. Daelyn realizes that she can't change the past, but she does act to change the future. Ultimately, that is exactly the message of this book.

A beautiful deluge into the world of bullying

Gripping, astoudingly powerful and gut wrenching. Despite how many suicide related books are out there, this one easily stands out. Peters has weaved together several unique elements, shining a very bright on Daelyn even in a world where she wants nothing more than to fade away. Daelyn, for all intensive purposes, is mute. She has not been this way all her life but rather forced into it as a result of an unsuccessful suicide attempt- showing very vividly how easily many things can go wrong when the end isn't reached. Instead of being dead, she now wears a neck brace and her only means of communication is to write things down. This element alone makes this book stand out for me because her mind is fully intact and her personality easily comes through- her pain, her sarcasm, and her honest desire to no longer exist. When her parents try talking with her, it is acceptable for Daelyn to remain silent. The website she discovers is another very unique aspect of this book- a meeting place for those wanting suicide and giving both an outlet as well as time to think things through. A Date of Determination is chosen- the day you will commit suicide but there is a certain amount of days that must occur before the DOD can be reached. Logically, anyone wanting suicide bad enough wouldn't worry what a website says but Daelyn follows it- the book focuses on those days counting down to her DOD. Daelyn's character will break your heart. As the book progresses, the bullying and torment she's endured unfolds, showing how she came to be the girl with a few unsuccessful suicide attempts under her belt but determined for the next one to go off without a hitch. She knows her parents love her and she knows they will hurt but she also holds hope they will understand that no matter how much she does love them back, she hates living even more. Peters has written the suicidal mindset astoundingly well, thrusting the reader into that level of pain and hopelessness that could drive a person to taking their own life. Never once did I think Daelyn was being overdramatic- she wasn't even seeking attention. Daelyn stressed the point she didn't want to be remembered after she died and was thinking of those she'd be leaving behind, namely her parents, as she debated her chosen method of suicide. This plot progresses very smoothly, telling both Daelyn's past as well as what is happening in the present. When she meets a boy- one that actually seems to take interest in her rather than wanting to torment her- minor hitches are thrown in her plans but Daelyn doesn't instantly decide to live just because of a boy. Peters continued to show her struggle and develop her character until the very end which was absolutely stunning and thought provoking. This type of novel tends to make the reader think and feel but Peters kicked even that up a few notches, guaranteeing this one to stay in their minds for several days. I highly recommend this one as it is a very vivid trip into the world o

Courtesy of Teens Read Too

Daelyn has suffered major psychological damage from years of being bullied. The torment and embarrassment she received because of her weight started her downhill slide into despair. She has lost her desire to live and failed at several attempts to end her life. Her latest failure has left her unable to talk and on 24-hour suicide watch. Her parents barely trust her to go to school. Daelyn is biding her time. She only has 23 days until her Date of Determination. She discovers the Through the Light website by accident, but finds it to be a welcome change of pace compared to the other suicide websites and discussion boards she's visited in the past. Instead of preaching and warning her against her decision, the website provides rational and informational posts and discussions about ending her life. BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, I'LL BE DEAD is a powerful and heart-wrenching story of one girl as she makes the hardest decisions of her life. How will she end her life and what will she do with her last 23 days? Daelyn thinks she has it all figured out until she meets a strange boy while she waits for her parents to pick her up after school. Santana is persistent when it comes to making friends with Daelyn, but with only 23 days to live does she really have time? This is a short book at only 198 pages. It is easily a one-sitting read and well worth the time. The author, Julie Anne Peters, also includes a lot of factual information at the back of the book. There are 19 Discussion Questions as well as sections about Bullying, Suicide, Warning Signs, and Prevention Hot Line Information. Your heart will break for Daelyn and the ending is thought-provoking. Reviewed by: Karin Librarian

Whoa! What an amazing read

I was not expecting this, specially in such a short read. This book is so harsh. And raw. And wrong. And cruel. And depressing. And sick. Oh, and I loved, loved, loved it. Even though my stomach sometimes didn't. I had physical ache while reading, that's how amazing it was. Seriously, I believe every person alive should read it. If you dare to read something so heart-wrenching that will most likely stick with you. It leaves a great message. The world is a freaking messed up place, no need to hide that. This may be a hard read, but only because it's so real that it hurts. The characters in the book were magnificent. The guy, Santana, I've never been so in love with a realistic-fiction character before. I wanted to tear him out of the book. He will steal your heart and keep it. The writing was good, felt awkward at times, but worked perfectly. If you think you can take reading about bullying and suicide (Bullycide) you must go pick this up right now. If you read Hate List (Jennifer Brown) and liked it, I think you will find this one really interesting too.

Great read!

By The Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead is a heart-wrenching, edgy and has a truthful outlook on the causes of bullying. Julie Anne Peters has truly captured the voice of all kids and teens who struggle with bullying on a daily basis. I was quickly connected with Daelyn because she was an easy character to understand. Her whole life has been based on cruel bullying from her classmates and even people who were supposed to help her. After several failed attempts of suicide, she seeks help from a website for people who will complete their journey to the "light." Each chapter starts with the remaining time of days she has left to end her existence. I was at the edge of my seat anticipating what Daelyn's next move was going to be. My favorite part of the book is when she encounters Santana, he was a fresh breath of air. He was such an inspirational character yet funny and sarcastic as well. Overall, this book touched me in so many ways, bullying and suicide are serious matters and Julie's book just might inspire others dealing with these issues.