Breaking Free of the Co-Dependency Trap

by Barry K. Weinhold and Janae B. Weinhold

Book Overview

This bestselling book, now in a revised edition, radically challenges the prevailing medical definition of co-dependency as a permanent, progressive, and incurable addiction. Rather, the authors identify it as the result of developmental traumas that interfered with the infant-parent bonding relationship during the first year of life. Drawing on decades of clinical experience, Barry and Janae Weinhold correlate the developmental causes of co-dependency...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1577316142
• ISBN13: 9781577316145
• Release Date: January 2008
• Publisher: New World Library
• Length: 272 Pages
• Weight: 0.80 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.5" x 8.4"

Customer Reviews

buy it

This is hands down the best book on codependency. Most codependency books I researched involved religion which is an oxymoron. This book however explained in clear unbiased ways the causes AND solutions to codependency. If you feel this is in your personality and is affecting your quality of life, I highly recommend this book for valuable insight and workable solutions!

practical, aplicable, better than Beattie

I have read through some of Melody Beattie's books, and I was thankful that there is a better book out there!! I'm analytical and like all things practical, so most of the codep books out there seemed a little to much of a rant or lament than anything practical. (I was disappointed with Beattie's perspective, because she speaks on a general level and never walks people through ways to grow and change. Her books seem fatalistic with the idea that once an codependent, always a codependent.) NOTE: I'd say the authors have unique personal views that every reader may not share, this could get in the way for some. Examples: Codependency is an societal-wide problem, non-violence solves problems, and their personal belief and experience that 'breaking free from codependency' is most quickly acheived through a committed relationship where both are open to growing in this area. The book is not laden with these ideas, and I would still recommend this book to anyone, regardless of where they fall belief-wise. I highly recommend this book because every chapter gives practical ways to work through different layers of the codependency problem. They provide suggestions for individuals, for therapy, for groups, and for couples. Futhermore, after reading each chapter, I was able to start working through some different things. I try to get rid of books if their no use to me, but I honestly feel that this will become a reference book for me through life.

If you were to read only one self help book this is it.

As a physician I have recommended this book to over a hundred patients and have had uniformly positive feedback. Comments such as "I can't thank you enough", "Great book", "It really helped me". Codependency is explained in this book from it's roots and then the reader is taken on a journey to explore it's effect on their lives. Codependency is a very pervasive problem and accounts for generational dysfunction and destruction of family systems. I have read many books on addiction/family issues and this is absolutely the best of them all.

An Engineer's Perspective

This book redefines the term co-dependency. It is an unfortunate confusion which will cause some readers to find the book objectionable. In reference to another reviewer, if anyone uses this as their only source of resolution in a troubled marriage I think I would have a clue as to why their marriage is troubled. This book predates the Weinholds most complete work, "Conflict Resolution". I have read all of their books, and have studied with them. Their philosophy is not a spiritual vortex of ungrounded ether. It is a solid philosophy that takes into account the convergence of psychology, religion, and physical science. I recommend it only to open minded readers who are willing to stretch their limits. For those who are interested in "real growth" I recommend their book, "Conflict Resolution".

Use your co-dependent relationship to grow

This book has a lot of hands on tests, techniques etc. Its main message is that you CAN use a codependent relationship to grow out of your co-dependency.The downside of this message is that if the reader doesn't do the hard work required and risk leaving the relationship, it can be used to justify prolonging a disfunctional relationship.A co-dependent person feels they desperately need their significant other -- even if that other is abusive or emotionally unavailable. Even though the relationship may be unrewarding or even dangerous, the co-depenent will feel that they can't survive without the other.The book describes the factors that produce these feelings and paints an attractive picture of life without the desperate need for another person.With a sound grounding in current psychological thinking, it points out that without resolving the issues that result in this feeling of dependency, the co-dependent is doomed to continue repeating the same pattern with every relationship.The hopeful message is that one can work out one's "stuck" position using the current co-dependent relationship. The book gives techniques that really work for this. The result is more independence, a more solid sense of integrity or self and a better relationship.My only concern is that co-dependents in a dangerously violent relationship may not take steps to protect their physical safety during this process -- it is seductive to to co-dependent to hear that they CAN find happiness in their relationship and it isn't always going to work.