Better Boundaries: Owning and Treasuring Your Life

by Greg Enns and Jan Black

Book Overview

Boundary issues contribute to a range of contemporary social problems felt by victims, abusers, overachievers, and underachievers alike. Knowing when boundaries are violated and what to do about it... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1572241071
• ISBN13: 9781572241077
• Release Date: May 1998
• Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
• Length: 240 Pages
• Weight: 0.87 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 6.1" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

Amazing book!!! Changed my life! The best boundaries book ever!!!

I really enjoyed this book! It is probably the best self help book I will ever read!!! I will definitely read it again!! It talked about self perception and self esteem and how what we think of our selves affects our ability to set boundaries. This book was alot more informative and helpful than the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. I wish everyone would read this book. Some of my favorite quotes from this book are: - You have a right to create personal boundaries because you are the owner of your life. Pg. 21. - I value input but only from people who can give it constructively and respectfully.  Pg. 33 - I realize that I used to agree with you on this, but after giving it a lot of thought, I have changed my mind. Pg 36 - When I feel pressured to make a decision, I will withdraw myself physically or mentally to regain my centeredness. Pg 37 - Caution is an important quality to own. Pg. 41 - Treasuring yourself is the finest gift you  could give yourself, the people you love, and the world that needs your authentic contribution. Pg. 61 - I have never been a failure, though I have failed to reach certain academic objectives. Like everyone else, I have strengths and weaknesses, and my path for success will be in the area of my strengths. Pg. 80 - Your opinions of yourself greatly determine your identity, and your identity usually determines what you will and won't let into your life-good or bad. Pg. 93 - As owner of your life, you are the only one who can adjust your beliefs, treasure yourself, and create effective boundaries. Pg. 96 - I'm flattered that you want my body, but its mine to give...or not, and I'm not giving tonight. - I'm exhausted please respect my no. Pg. 210 - The treasured life is an assortment of small choices made within strong boundaries. - A better life is built on better boundaries. Pg. 224

an eye opener

After reading this I realized I have never had any boundaries. Grew up as a people pleaser, a good little girl, at the expense of my own happiness and peace of mind. Guess it is never too late though, and will now try to be more comfortable with my own feelings and needs and stop worrying about the "shoulds" in my mind. This book was very encouraging.

Recommended by my therapist

This book was recommended to me by my therapist. It is a great help to me, teaching me that it's okay to set boundaries especially when I'm in an uncomfortable situation. I would recommend it to anyone.

The Clichéd Title takes away from the value inside.

The whole concept and idea of boundaries tends to be overused and clichéd these days. Because of this, we may have lost sight of a fundamental development area for us to become fully human.This book was a wonderful gift from a friend. In my work, I am always referring to the need for clear boundaries in personal and professional situations. I tend to think that I have pretty good boundaries and in general I do. This book helped lay out specific criteria and circumstances for me to reconsider.It would be too easy to describe or label this particular book as another of the Self Help ilk. It is not a workbook and I wouldn't describe it as one full of exercises. However, it does have some areas with specific strategies, recommendations and processes to help you identify the important ingredients required in order for an individual to clarify and maintain the proper boundaries in all aspects of their lives.It is not technical in the sense of theoretical but it is thorough. Anyone who wants to look into this important area can apply this material directly and immediately in his or her own life. It is also full of concrete examples in real live situations.If you feel that you have issues around setting and clarifying boundaries, this book will be of tremendous assistance. If boundaries are not a concern for you, I would encourage you to consider reviewing the material. It goes beyond the surface to the core purpose and intent of your life. For this reason, it is a great book for counselors, coaches and all self-seekers.

Excellent. Concise. Abundant Useful Techniques.

Having read about 50 self-help books, over twenty years, I have found that most books in the self-help genre could easily have been published as booklets rather than full-length paperbacks. Authors, editors, and publishers routinely stuff such books with redundant explanations and case studies. As important as such concepts and techniques may be to a book, there comes a point where their use is overdone. This fluff-to-stuff writing is common in the self-help genre. A 40-page booklet doesn't come anywhere near the profits that a 250-page paperback generates. This results in the reader having to read through superfluous reams of information in order to extract a few gems pertinent to the book's subject.However, the good news is that occasionally a excellently written book with just the right balance of techniques and concepts is published. Better Boundaries is at the very top in its line, not only covering the establishment of healthy boundaries in one's life, but as a self-help book in general.I wish other authors and publishers would follow the same style found in Better Boundaries (Black & Enns). It is easy to read, the ideas and concepts are clearly explained, a few examples are given (never overdone), and specific techniques are abudantly provided. I found myself looking forward to reading this book at every moment available over two and half days. (Unlike torturously treading through other self-help books to get a single nugget when it was all over.)I will re-read this book, recommend it highly to others, and purchase additional copies for friends. At the cost of appearing mercenary, my only regret is that I wish I had read this book twenty years ago; I would have saved myself the great sum of money that I have spent on other self-help books.

This book? "Life 101"

This book isn't another one about how to say "no" to others. It's about how to say "yes" to yourself. "Yes", I love me just as I am today. "Yes", I deserve to have good in my life. "Yes",I can change my self-image and my life...for better AND for good! If you've only got one life to live...This is the book for you!