Before It's Too Late: Why Some Kids Get Into Trouble--and What Parents Can Do About It

by Stanton E. Samenow

Book Overview

Is it "just a phase," or could your child be headed for serious trouble? If you sense that your child is seriously troubled, you may feel bewildered, helpless, ineffective. How can you stop your child from throwing away his or her life? How can you avoid thinking that you've failed as a parent? In this newly revised and expanded edition of the classic guide Before It's Too Late, clinical psychologist Stanton E. Samenow explains how to break the useless...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0812930657
• ISBN13: 9780812930658
• Release Date: November 2001
• Publisher: Harmony/Rodale/Convergent
• Length: 240 Pages
• Weight: 0.45 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 7.9" x 5.2"

Customer Reviews

An amazing insight

I wish I'd read this book years ago. This is the 2nd re-written edition of the book, which Samenow explains differs from the first in that he distinguishes more specifically between the behavior of an antisocial child and phases of bad behavior of other children. I am a parent of 3 children - 2 are very normal, confident and well rounded, the other has been in therapy, psychiatry, psychiatric hospitals and on various cocktails of medication since he was 4 years old. Now we have reached teenage years and still have no answers or concrete diagnoses, but an increasingly problem whereby we live with locked cupboards all over over our house, dealings with police, school, firesetting problems. After discussions with a psychologist and social worker about antisocial personality, this book was recommended to me and I recognized everything written as something we have dealt with since our son was a small child. The greatest relief given to me by this book was not only the acceptance that we did everything we could, everything advised by every doctor & therapst, but we finally understand more about how his mind works when he makes the wrong choices and treats his closest family as the enemy. This understanding alone, even before I reached the chapters on parenting advice, helped us immediately to dissolve the power struggles and changed the way we approach a conflict. This acceptance by us not only helps us but our other two children, and has possibly helped prevent further erosion of our family's esteem, hopes and sanity.

Required reading for those who work with adolecents

Criminals begin as kids. Unfortunately many believe that this statement is not true. After working with prison inmates and kids in community MHMR settings, I see the roots of criminal thinking in many so-called "disturbed" kids. Any one who works with kids needs to read this book. I would recommend reading The Criminal Mind as well. Do not dismiss this book with out carefully considering it carefully. Dr. Samenow applies his years of research and experience with the criminal and applies it to childern. Some may argue that kids are different from adult criminals, but in many ways they are not. There are obivious differences, but there is a suprising similarity in their thought process. I have extensive experience with criminals, inmates, and "disturbed" kids. Intervention as early as possible is required.

MR. SAMENOW HELPED ME TO RECOGNIZE ANTISOCIAL BEHAVIOR

And how to deal with it without being manipulated or bullied.Especially helpful to me were the descriptions of common symptoms of antisocial people (each symptom gets a whole chapter of treatment):1) Life is a One-Way Street---My Way2) Disregard of Injury to Others3) Unrealistic Expectations and Pretentions4) Taking the Easy Way5) Lying as a Way of Life6) "It's Not My Fault"--Refusing to be Held Accountable7) An Island Unto HimselfOf course, if you know anybody who exhibits some of these traits, you better get a copy of this book. The last part of the book shows how to successfully deal with these difficult people.--George Stancliffe

The BEST of the bazillion books I've read on behavior probs.

I've been trying to understand my son's problems since he was 18 months old (now 15). He's been diagnosed with numerous disorders and hospitalized x2. I gave up highlighting the book's text when I realized I was highlighting every word! Deepest thanks to you, Dr. Samenow, for being the one voice of reason in my experience of partenting. P.S. Like parents described in the book, I also have another child who is loving & rational, and unfortunatly has paid a high price for her brother's disruptive problems. Take care, Debbie Anderson

What is wrong with our children and what can we do about it?

In the book , Before It's Too Late, Dr.Samenow answers the questions many Americans have concerning what we can do about teenage criminals. I have taught in McLaughlin Youth Center (MYC) for over 11 years. MYC is the state reform school for Alaska. Over these 11 years I have taught hundreds of youthful offenders. Dr. Samenow has not only described the problems these offenders have, he has identified how to help those who can be helped. Many times I have asked my students, "Did any of you know that what you did to get incarcerated here was wrong?" In every instance 100% of them admit that they knew that their action was wrong. They admit that they made the choice to take a chance and commit a crime. Through out my teaching career, which began in 1955, I have heard people say, "Oh, the poor children. If their parents had not neglected them, if they had had a good home, if only society gave them a chance, et cetera." This is utter nonsense and Dr. Samenow refutes this nonsense with facts and statistics. These facts reveal that the choices these criminals made were not the result of neglect or poor conditions. In nearly every case children made the choices. These children have a predisposition to antisocial behavior. America has excused their behavior and we can not survive if we do not stop excusing juvenile criminal behavior.America must save itself from this growing number of criminals. We must recognize that the weak treatment programs of the past have not worked. These programs are not working now and that the children of today need to know that their antisocial behavior will result in the swift, sure and certain punishment their crimes deserve.Dr. Samenow tells us how to do this. We must listen before it's too late.Rev. Dr. Michael K. Mitchell Anchorage, Alaska