Attachments: Why You Love, Feel, and ACT the Way You Do

by Tim Clinton and Gary Sibcy

Book Overview

The answer to why people feel and act they ways the do lies in the profound effect of a child's bonding process with his or her parents. How successfully we form and maintain relationships throughout life is related to those early issues of "attachment." The author have cited four primary bonding styles that explain why people love, feel, and act they way they do. This book is for anyone who desires closeness, especially in the most intimate relationships:...

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1591450268
• ISBN13: 9781591450269
• Release Date: October 2002
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson
• Length: 288 Pages
• Weight: 1.29 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.1" x 6.6" x 9.4"

Customer Reviews

Underlying problems made understandable

As a therapist I run into people with attachment problems all the time. This book can help professionals and other interested people learn how and why the feel, or don't feel, as they do. Dr. Clinton is an excellent writer and makes the subject interesting and useful for both professionals and non-professionals alike. An excellent and not difficult read.

childhood "ouchies" become grown-up problems

You learned about love when you were a baby. The bad news is that you probably learned some painful lessons. The good news is, there is hope for you to learn something closer to the truth. Attachment research (summarized in this book) shows that babies' interactions with their mothers (and fathers, although more research is needed in this area) during infancy teach them that either they are worthy of love and will receive it... or they're not and they won't. This simple lesson impacts the rest of these babies' lives in a million subtle ways they probably do not even realize. If you see self-defeating patterns (for example, self-bashing, other-bashing, caring remarks replaced by aggressive ones) in your love-seeking or someone else's love-seeking, but you have no idea why, this book may explain to you the old scripts that you're reading from. It will give you answers for the problems, too. The second half of the book talks about how to cultivate a relationship with God that can teach you how to love and be loved without all the childhood baggage. The path for healing takes time but IS possible. I needed to hear that message. How about you?

The Ultimate Relationship Manuals

My fiancee and I have read a lot of books about relationships. Most of them cover the same old stuff--mostly superficial and entertaining at best. This book is unlike any other. We've really discovered both how and why we relate the way we do. This book is a journey into your heart and soul. It brings spirituality alive, showing how God is the 'ultimate attachment figure.' It's important to note that even though Christian spirituality is a central theme in this book, its coverage of attachment and its analysis of how we learn to love, stands alone. You can get a wealth of powerful information from this book even if you aren't religious. The book covers the different styles of attachment and how they affect the way you love others. These styles begin in early childhood and influence us throughout life. The authors highlight a crucial point: How we handle our feelings mirrors how we handle our reltionships. If you keep your feelings at a distance, you probably do the same with close relationships. If your feelings are chaotic, most likely, your relationships are too. The chapters on understand and healing emotional storms and on healing wounded attachment bonds have literally transformed the way I relate to those I love the most. This is a must read book for those serious about love and relationships.

Why you do what you do!

This book is dead on! You will find yourself and others you love in the pages of this book. You will discover why you relate to people the way you do and how to change those patterns.

Good summarization of attachment problems

This book is well written. It is an excellent summarization of prior attachment work (Bowlby, etc.). In addition, this book offers some pretty practical strategies for attending to your particular attachment style. This is a useful tool for anyone (counseling professionals and not)...especially for those who are interested in enhancing their personal relationships.