Are You Ready?: The Gay Man's Guide to Thriving at Midlife

by Rik Isensee

Book Overview

"Readers of this book should be ready to experience an engaging intimate conversation about how to live with wisdom and passion while embarked on the uncertain journey of midlife. Gay men of all ages... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1555834590
• ISBN13: 9781555834593
• Release Date: April 1999
• Publisher: Alyson Books
• Length: 196 Pages
• Weight: 0.55 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 5.8" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

Just what I was looking for

I just finished reading this book and found it to be very helpful. I liked the style in which the author presented the top of dealing with midlife as a gay man. Each chapter ended with a series of questions that you could evaluate yourself on the chapter's topics, both from a perspective of where you have been and where you are going. The author used interviews and interactions with several of his clients as he discussed a topic. These gay men were from diverse backgrounds and in different situations. It made the book relevant to me. Many gay-oriented books seem to be targeting gay men from large "Gay Mecca" communities on the East and West Coast. They often forget that the typical gay male lives in smaller communities, typically in the Midwest or South and life experiences are different than those immersed in a totally gay environment and culture. This book was able to speak to gay men in all communities. All in all, I would recommend this book for a good starting point in exploring midlife as a gay man. The reading was easy. It answered several of my concerns and opened me up for self-reflection as I explore this issue more.

A Very Helpful Approach To Gay Midlife

I was not familiar with Rik Isensee's previous works but I was drawn to this book for the lack of any other substantial material on dealing with midlife (40 to 60 yrs of age) as a gay man. "Are You Ready" is not a cure-all miracle that can ease all your concerns about midlife, but it is highly encouraging and grounded. I am in excellent health, physical condition and reasonably financialy secure, but still there is some strong stress and worry that has accompanied my turning 40 in a culture that places formidable importance on youth and beauty and partying. I found this book offered solid, positive ways of approaching this transitional period and I believe it could help many men reduce the panic of aging and the fear that accompanies it. I have read and re-read the book a number of times and pick up important points each time. As a result I believe it has helped to reshape my thinking some degree and I have felt a good deal more positive about my age and future than I had just a few weeks before. I'm not suddenly dancing in the aisles over aging but I am starting to look at it differently and that's progress. It's just a book...basicly a philosophy book, with examples of other gay men's attitudes and experiences, so it can't work miracles. But it does help you see positive, grounded ways of thinking you may not have previously considered and is highly worthwhile reading. I sincerely hope there will be a follow-up or more books that approach this often ignored subject. Gay men in their 40's, 50's and 60's need not wander away like elephants going off to some hidden spot to die. We needn't hit 40 and think this is it...the end of the line. We needn't feel "old" in a negative sense before our time. One of the best lines in the book is "Don't be an old geezer when you have half your life in front of you." A simple thought but glaringly true. This book helps you adapt your thinking to that end (or should I say beginning) and I recommend it for any gay man facing midlife.

I found this information very useful

I was surprised at how much I have gained by the simple common sense solutions, to issues I am faceing as I grow older, provided by this book. I was most impressed with the fact that it spoke to me in very relatable terms. The author addresses current topics and problems that I have personally experienced. Such as, coming into Middleage without the friends I had been growing up with in my 30s. And living in a social system that is focused on appearences and youthful activities. I did benefit more from the direct information provided by the author, vs the individuals statements from the case study participants. He focused on the topics and solutions for dealing with them, where the individuals (many times) just pointed out their own specific problems.