Am I the One?: Clues to Finding and Becoming a Person Worth Marrying

by James R. Lucas

Book Overview

People speak today of making it harder to get divorced. While saving troubled marriages is an admirable feat, as a prescription it is working from the terminal end of the relationship disease.James Lucas takes a very different approach to this crucial life decision. Instead of beginning with questions of dating, courtship, compatibility and relationship "tools," Lucas starts with you. Who are you becoming? Are you taking the steps to become a person...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 080542573X
• ISBN13: 9780805425734
• Release Date: January 2003
• Publisher: B&H Books
• Length: 204 Pages
• Weight: 0.60 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 6.3" x 8.3"

Customer Reviews

Thought provoking and well written

I really appreciated this book. Lucas is a fantastic writer. His style is appealing and identifiable with the age group of the audience. I purchased this book at the end of high school, and am just now reading it (recent college graduate). Though it is written more for teenagers I found it highly applicable to where I am in life. I really appreciated the organization. Lucus uses Biblical references throughout the whole novel to support his views, which are clearly written and explained. I also appreciated the Discussion Questions section at the end of each chapter. I haven't honestly created answers for each one yet, but I plan on doing that when I'm in each stage of life. (Singleness, dating, more serious, considering marriage, etc.) I really appreciated and found extremely encouraging the section on singleness. I find in my church an assumption that everyone is to get married, and Lucus does a fantastic job of encouraging the reader that singleness is not wrong and even Biblical. He makes a great argument and really shows that marriage and singleness are two equal ways of life. There were times in a few of the chapters that I felt overwhelmed in the sense of "finding a spouse that good is impossible," but I know (because I see it in other relationships around me) that it is not impossible. Overall, a lot of the points mentioned in this book are "common sense" or what you may have been taught at home or church. However, Lucus organizes them in such a way to help the reader create a focus. To see the points in an organized manner and to approach finding (or not finding) a spouse in an organized, rational, and most importantly Biblical manner.

right on

This book is awesome! I read it twice in one month... pick it up!

The best book I have read so far about relationships

"Am I the one?" is the best book I read so far about dating and relationships. Most of the books I have read in the past were somewhat skewed towards female readers, but I can say, I was very satisfied. After all, who wants to settle for a mediocre marriage? I have passed the book on to friends and I have been receiving raving reviews. The Biblical references were both profound and refreshing.

great

This book was completely refreshing, true there are some general concepts that he talks about that's talked in other books. That's to be expected in any dating/courting book, but this one is different. Instead of focusing on the hunt for "the one," we should be focusing on God, our lives, and becoming the right people in order to marry the right person. The author avoids formulas, cliches, and legalistic rules. He puts things in a new perspective and brings different views to old ideas. He doesn't try to sugar coat anything and he tells it like it is.There are four parts and here's what it covers:Part 1: Building a Solid Foundation for RelationshipsChapter 1: "All I wanna do is have some fun"Chapter 2: Becoming a person worth knowing and marryingChapter 3: Recognizing a person worth knowing and marryingChapter 4*: Kissing Dumb Dating Goodbye*in chapter 4, the author talks about the difference between smart dating and dumb dating. And that there's nothing wrong with dating a great and decent person.Part 2: Facing the Sobering Realities about relationships and MarriageChapter 5: Before you tie the knot, make sure the rope isn't around your neckChapter 6: 12 lousy reason for getting marriedChapter 7: 12 problem people to avoidPart 3: Recognizing the right match for a good marriageChapter 8: The best reasons for getting marriedChapter 9: 12 things to be sure of before you get marriedChapter 10: 10 ways to know you've found "The One."Part 4: Life right nowChapter 11: Celebrating singlenessChapter 12: Dealing with sexI found this book to be quite refreshing from other books on dating/courting. Instead of trying to convince you that courting is more holy, or that dating is dirty, he takes a different approach on dating, friendship, and romance. He doesn't try to talk anyone down and its appropriate for teens and even people in their 20s. I've read a lot of dating/courting books everything from I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Boy Meets Girl, Choosing God's Best, When God Writes Your Love Story, Passion & Purity, etc.This book and WGWYLS(When God Writes Your Love Story) have got to be the best books around on dating, in my opinion anyway. I'd definately recommend it.

Superb Relationship Book Aimed At High Schoolers

AM I THE ONE is, for youth and young adults, the best book on relationships that I have ever read. Period. James Lucas avoids all of the typical pitfalls that so many dating book authors fall into. He doesn't give you a list of don'ts - don't date (the trendy rule), don't kiss, don't do this, don't do that, and everything will be okay. Because, as I think we all know deep down, the outward rules are meaningless if the inside isn't in the proper order. One can not date a single person and still end up in a bad marriage. So Lucas turns the focus inward. He sets solid principles - not absolute rules - which help you ask the right questions of yourself. Principles like the ones he focuses on work best because each person's situation in life is different and the applications are not always going to be the same.Much like Eric and Leslie Ludy's idea of "giving God the pen in your life," from WHEN GOD WRITES YOUR LOVE STORY, Lucas succeeds famously because he realizes that holiness and, ultimately, life success is based not upon legalistic rules but freedom that is found in Christ when our hearts and priorities are focused upon Him. Thus, AM I THE ONE, is a must-read for anyone who is really serious about finding themselves not only married to the right person but also having that marriage be a lasting and fulfilling one. The Ludy's book and BOUNDARIES IN DATING are both solid, but if you're a young person AM I THE ONE should be at the top of your reading list. FIVE STARS