Affairs: A Guide to Working Through the Repercussions of Infidelity

by Emily M. Brown

Book Overview

A deeply traumatic experience for both spouses, an affair can create a terrible loss of trust and can often lead to the end of a relationship. There are consequences not only for the married couple, but also for their children, family, and friends, not to mention for the third party in the triangle. This non-judgmental guide offers the knowledge and information that couples need in order to adequately confront marital infidelity and to get on with...

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0787950041
• ISBN13: 9780787950040
• Release Date: September 1999
• Publisher: Jossey-Bass
• Length: 272 Pages
• Weight: 1.10 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 6.3" x 9.3"

Customer Reviews

Excellent and clear explanation of affairs and why they happen

This is a must-read for anyone who has had an affair, is in the middle of an affair, has a partner who's having an affair, and for counselors of all kinds. Since affairs are so ubiquitous and so damaging to all involved, this is the kind of book everyone should have to read as a part of their how-to-live-life education (along with all those other practical everyday super-important things that no one teaches us) so as to stop and think many times before having one.

Good for self understanding

I thought this book was pretty well written, the types of affairs etc gave a good insight into some of the reasons some people abandon their current relationship responsibilities. It actually helped me to approach a few of my own problems - even though I've not had an affair - ie showing me some of my actions were a cry for help. Informative, well written and definately worth a read by 'either party'.

Definitely a good guide!!!

From the first page of this book I was mesmerized by how much of myself I read about. This is a fantastic guideline regarding different types of affairs, and the provocation behind them, from all points of view. It is just a well rounded advice and support book for anyone, on any side, involved in an affair. If you are going through pain, this will definitely help you to rationalize what is going on....

What an eye opener

I truly wish that someone had recommended this book before now. I am 4 months into a separation in which my husband left me for an affair partner. I turned into a woman possessed. I did things that truly were unhealthy for me in trying to understand what went wrong and obsessing over what was happening between the two of them. After reading this book, I had a wake up call. I truly felt as if someone had taken the book and hit me over the head with it. It put the affair into perspective and allowed me to start the healing process. It enabled me to understand that the affiar was not all my fault and began the discussion process with my spouse. I was able to "let go" of the obsession and was able to understand the person who got involved with my husband as well as my husband's perspective. A definite "must read" for anyone who is going through this!

"Affairs are not just about sex."

As a family mediator, I have seen many couples end their marriage because one of them has had an extramarital affair. After reading Ms. Brown's second book, "Affairs: A Guide to Working Through the Repercussions of Infidelity," I am more convinced than ever that an affair is not a good reason to end a marriage before the WHY of the affair is worked through. Ms. Brown identifies five types of affairs. She believes that some affairs, when worked through by both spouses together in a nonjudgmental setting, can lead to a happier, more fulfilling marriage than the couple ever experienced before--even before the affair. "Affairs..." is easy to read and contains checklists and other useful information to decide how and if the impact of the affair can be worked through so a new beginning of trust and love can emerge. This is definitely a book that offers hope, healing, and practical help to anyone who has been affected by the aftermath of an extramarital affair. ("Affairs..." follows another excellent book, written for therapists, "Patterns of Infidelity and Their Treatment.")