A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce

by Alec Baldwin

Book Overview

""I have been through some of the worst of contentious divorce litigation," ""Alec""""Baldwin"" declares in "A Promise to Ourselves." Using a very personal approach, he offers practical guidance to help others avoid the anguish he has endured. "An Academy and Tony Award nominee and a 2007 recipient of Golden Globe, SAG, and Television Critics Association Awards for best actor in a comedy, Alec Baldwin is one of the best-known, most successful actors...

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0312363362
• ISBN13: 9780312363369
• Release Date: September 2008
• Publisher: St. Martin's Press
• Length: 224 Pages
• Weight: 0.90 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 5.8" x 9.1"

Customer Reviews

Not a loving divorce

I couldn't put the book down! It's well written and reads like a novel page turner, filled with suspense, intensity of emotions, and drama. Having just completed a divorce myself as a mother of two where I kept not only the welfare of my girls' future emotional and psychological well-being primary, I also considered with utmost care the feelings of their father that I could no longer stay married to. So this meant that we took our time with mediation, we personally served our papers to one another, and shared in 50/50 joint custody. We agreed to all this and more not only for our children but for our own individual futures. This has kept our family emotionally whole and now a year later are thriving as a new kind of family! Unfortunately, as just one example in the book, this was not the same for Kim Basinger who had Alec Baldwin served with their Separation Papers, which is more a punch to the gut than most women (and men when reversed) realize. How can anyone respond without retaliation, swords drawn and ready for battle? And then, of course, how can one not eventually lose control of one's anger when legal minefields release destruction and anguish at every step along the way. Sure Alec was wrong to hurl such words and accusations at his daughter on the phone, but I can see the path to that call more clearly now. So sad. Oh yes, and BTW, "leaking" that call to the public had to have been horribly painful for their daughter--and all for what? To show Alec as a bad man? Surely there was no consideration whatsoever for the child! And then the climax of using and abusing the legal system to inflict the parental alienation tactics I think is reprehensible. Unless the target parent is abusive in some way or involved in drugs or crime, I can't think of any justifiable reason to inflict such pain on both the parent and child! To me then what this book represents is more than a legal system where fathers' rights take back seat, and quite obviously that's painfully true, it represents more a world where many mothers (and fathers too) fail to fully comprehend the possible permanent damage they do to their children through their intentional or unintentional Parental Alienation (Syndrome). Sure it's painful and frightening facing a future alone, but our children are NOT our emotional keepers and it's up to us to teach them resilience, strength, and compassion, not manipulation and hate. In the meantime though, I advocate changes to our legal system where children aren't abused in this way! And so I wonder why we've become so self-absorbed or damaged to not see the obvious manipulations of the divorce legal system that helps to escalate these types of damaging scenarios. I could see it when I visited my first referred barracuda divorce attorney. It was then and there that I decided that a loving divorce was the only ethical and moral journey for all of us. Thank God! And so we did it and not only is it possible (through hard work),

Brave Story

And it's not easy to speak of these matters in contemporary America, but Baldwin's line about being pulled into the American family law system is akin to being tied to a truck and then dragged down a gravel road late is excellent. As he put it, no one can hear your cries, and it is not over until they say it is. I'm sorry that Mr. Baldwin had to go through what he did but hope that this memoir/analytical work sways minds and adds to the preponderance of the evidence concerning the lack of justice men now find in our courts of law. Protecting women is fine but the juridical operationalization of this notion has resulted in the persecution of the opposite sex. People need to be aware about what's going on so I'm appreciative that Baldwin is using his fame for the worthy and noble purpose of generating awareness. The great thing about this book is that the author does more than tell his own story. He includes the narratives of several men who experienced the same horrors he did. In conclusion, I'm very grateful Mr. Baldwin has graced us with this publication.

A must read for judges!

I want to thank Mr. Baldwin for the excellent book! My husband went thru the very same thing with his former wife 20 years ago. Wish we would have had Mr. Baldwin's book then. Why do the courts not take into consideration the child's best intrest? My husbands daughter was left in the hands of a abusive mother, who was queen of "PAS." (Parental Alienation Syndrome.) The judge left her with the mother, because "a girl should be living with the mother." In the meantime the mother took off and we didn't see his daughter for over 5 years. Everytime we would go to court (she was in contempt of court) the judge basically shrugged her shoulders. Such a shame. This book should be a must read for all judges.

The bitter fruits of our corrupt LAISSEZ-PERJURY justice system

Alec Baldwin has written a great book that reveals the human side of divorce in a family court justice system that routinely condones and accomodates deceit, evidence withholding, and material misrepresentation - commonly known as PERJURY. Throughout civil, criminal, family, and probate courts in every county and state of the United States, the prosecution of perjury arising from witness testimony in any court DOES NOT HAPPEN!!! Check it out yourself: search for perjury prosecutions on county prosecutor bragsites or call and ask for perjury prosecution statistics. The information is not available because it would prove the REALITY of LAISSEZ-PERJURY. What's even more surprising is that it is impossible (it has been intentionally designed that way) to even make an allegation to the county prosecutor's office of FELONY PERJURY. Call'em and try to find out how to. You will go nowhere. It is time that we acknowledge that the dirty little secret of the US justice system is its rampant, regular, and routine winking at PERJURY. We have a LAISSEZ-PERJURY (in) justice system and consequently the false, intentionally incomplete, and misleading testimony in-court works to polarize and radicalize the proceedings and litigants. If both parties LIE, then it is a LYING CONTEST; if only one does, then the LIAR wins big. And it is not only the LIAR that wins - but the attorneys, judges, and all of the other divorce parasites who then bill extra hours and/or plead for more tax dollars to support larger staffs of parasites. The county prosecutor/lawyer fails to prosecute PERJURY because it means big bucks for attorneys and allows judges the (false) facts to justify their arbitrary and one-sided decisions. And guess what profession typically makes the biggest campaign contributions to most office-bound county prosecutors? Of course, attorneys and lawyers. It is quite easy to prove the reality of LAISSEZ-PERJURY - just try and get a judge, a prosecutor, or an attorney to talk about PERJURY prosecution arising from witness testimony. Just call their speaker's bureaus and invite one to your next civic group meeting. LAISSEZ-PERJURY is POLITICAL KRYPTONITE. Alec Baldwin's book tells the very human story of the costs and great pain that arises from our LAISSEZ-PERJURY IN-JUSTICE SYSTEM. And it is time that the media and politicians begin to talk about its reality. Be Positive. Lies enslave; the truth sets free.

Shows the California courts in a true light

Speaking from experience and as a woman, Mr. Baldwin is right when he relates to the CA courts as a woman's court. Fathers are treated as second class citizens and then mothers and children complain when the father's no longer stay in contact. Trust me, at some point you just want to ask the judge, "How much to not see the kid at all?" Wealth or not Alec Baldwin has got this one right. The previous reviewer needs to READ THE BOOK instead of watching interviews and judging Mr. Baldwin's political beliefs. I doubt if he understands the California Family Court system all the way from Sweden.