A Moveable Marriage: Relocate Your Relationship Without Breaking It

by Robin Pascoe and Robin Pascoe

Book Overview

A Moveable Marriage: Relocate Your Relationship without Breaking It. With candid talk about the stress on relationships created by children, careers, money, sex, and infidelity, this book is for... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0968676022
• ISBN13: 9780968676028
• Release Date: March 2003
• Publisher: Rrlj Investments Ltd
• Length: 208 Pages
• Weight: 0.51 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 5.0" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

When you're done reading it, leave it on his nightstand.

Did you know that the divorce rate among expatriates is an additional 50% higher than the national average? Kudos to Robin Pascoe for serving up a reality check on a sensitive subject with a side dish of humor. As a person who has "been there, done that" I highly recommend that both husband and wife read this book. It will give married couples plenty to chew on before expatriating.

Moveable Marriage Reviewed

Excellent book for future or present expats. The author is brutally honest and forthright about what challenges lay ahead when you move your marriage to another country. It is specifically aimed at women who leave their jobs/careers behind following their husband as he pursues his career. Includes many humorous anecdotal stories and numerous resource links. Excellent read for expats, "trailing spouses" and their families.

The Last Word Is "Love"

Robin Pascoe`s self-assigned task in her book is to validate, inform and empower the accompanying spouses of employees in foreign postings. First of all, it is a helpful revelation to know this is necessary, that there is a strong possiblilty that the needs of these spouses will go unmet and cause distress.Robin does us spouses living abroad a great service. In addition to providing an insightful foreword by a wise couples therapist and a useful list of book and website resources at the end, in the eight chapters from "Moveable Marriages 101" through "Isolation and Dependence," "Dual Career Challenges," to "Restoring Balance in a Moveable Marriage," she shows us how she and her husband have adjusted and strengthened their marriage through many relocations and how she has come to have a positive attitude toward change.What helped and touched me even more than the expertise Robin shares from her experience and research on the subject of relocation is her vulnerable authenticity in describing and accepting her own and her husband`s real feelings, shortcomings, mistakes ... and resulting insights. This book was written by a real woman and wife about her real marriage to a real man and husband. Both partners shine through the pages with their positive and sometimes limited attitudes and timings intact. Their commitment to each other and to their marriage is the strong thread that doesn`t break in spite of frazzling times. This is simply uplifting to read about as an example to follow. It is encouraging to know that, as Carl Rogers said, "we can be all of our experience," and that we can even be that together!For example, Robin writes that she had felt her husband`s biggest "crime" was "his good fortune to have an identity that both elevated and inspired him." Later, when he asked her what would make her happy, she couldn`t admit to him it would make her happy for him to be a little less happy. These passages taken together show that a successful marriage is about both partners having an identity that elevates and inspires, and about both of them being committed to supporting each other in developing such an identity.Every adjustment in life we make takes its toll in stress. Robin writes that relocation, along with death and divorce, is at the top of the list of life-altering, traumatic change. However, stress within limits is a good thing. Only if it overpowers our capabilities or continues too long does it become distress. Since the two human conditions having the most potential for producing distress are impotence (in the sense of being required to act but lacking the authority or ability to do so) and isolation, we see what a critical situation a moved marriage can be in. Robin gives researched and home-tested suggestions for preventing distress, especially in the transition period to a "new life abroad."I wish I had had this book to read all those years ago when I first came to Germany, especially during the distressful in-between t

The first "get real" book about marriage and relocating

Having lived the life of a relocated wife for over 3 years now, this is the first book I've read that really gets to the nitty gritty of the marital challenges associated with supporting a husband's moveable career. Not only does Robin tackle issues most couples and girlfriends wouldn't dare discuss - like sex, money, resentment, career, children, indifference, resignation and even depression - she talks about them with alarming clarity and common sense. It's obvious she has lived the life she writes about and that she has survived what we often think is unsurvivable in a relocated marriage. There is a real sense that she has indeed experienced every circumstance she covers in the book and at times it often seems as though she is reading one's mind about the real issues we confront. If you've ever felt that no one truly understood your isolation and loneliness as the relocated spouse of a high flying moveable husband then this book will help you not only understand that your feelings are normal, but also provide tools, tips and strategies for dealing with your emotions and practical daily challenges. This is a book dedicated to the betterment of a healthy marriage during a domestic or international relocation. If your marriage is undergoing a geographical transition, I recommend you read this book before you depart, and pick it up again once you arrive. You can only benefit from Robin's wisdom - and at the same time do yourself a huge favour by not enduring the experience alone.