Twas the night before Christmas when all through the houseNot a creature was stirring, not even a mouseBecause Daddy set out traps to catch those f @kersThe stockings were hung by the chimney with careIn hopes that grenades would soon be in thereThe children were nestled, all snug in their bedsWhile visions of weapons danced in their headsAnd Mama in her nightie and I in my boxersHad just settled down for a fun night togetherWhen out on the lawn there...