A collection of humorous recollections and observations of a loquacious raconteur.- CONTENTS- INTRODUCTION- I STARTED OUT AS A CHILD- MONASTIC COLLEGE- ALCOHOL IS MY LIFE- BEING MARRIED, MARRIED & MARRIED- ON HAVING KIDS - OR NOT- CANINE COMPANIONS- BATHROOMS OF AMERICA- HUMOR IN UNIFORM- MEET THE NEIGHBORS- POLITICS AND OTHER FORMS OF INSANITY- COMMUNICATION IS THE PROBLEM TO THE ANSWER- GETTING OLDER SUCKS- RANDOM EVENTS- APPENDIX(I STILL HAVE MINE...