A collection of humorous recollections, and other observations of a loquacious raconteur. CONTENTS INTRODUCTION I STARTED OUT AS A CHILD MONASTIC COLLEGE ALCOHOL IS MY LIFE BEING MARRIED, MARRIED & MARRIED ON HAVING KIDS - OR NOT CANINE COMPANIONS BATHROOMS OF AMERICA HUMOR IN UNIFORM MEET THE NEIGHBORS POLITICS AND OTHER FORMS OF INSANITY COMMUNICATION IS THE PROBLEM TO THE ANSWER GETTING OLDER SUCKS RANDOM EVENTS APPENDIX (I STILL HAVE MINE BUT...