A parody of Watchmen with Bill Belichick as Dr. Manhattan and Marty Schottenheimer as Nite Owl? A detailed review of Denver kicker Jason Elam's first novel? A revolutionary statistical report showing that teams that kneel on the ball more often are more likely to win the game? What kind of football column features this kind of erudite goofiness next to the story of how Wilber Marshall became the NFL's first Franchise Player and play diagrams that...