101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last

by Charlie Bloom, Linda Bloom, Charlie Bloom, et al.

Book Overview

With the current divorce rate spiking at a dizzying sixty percent, it is clear that young couples are not being taught the skills needed to navigate through the conflicts and difficulties of being in a committed relationship. Charlie and Linda Bloom, psychotherapists with fifty-five years of combined experience in relationship counseling, are acutely aware of this. For the last fifteen years the Blooms have been leading seminars on improving life...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1577314247
• ISBN13: 9781577314240
• Release Date: January 2004
• Publisher: New World Library
• Length: 259 Pages
• Weight: 0.85 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.5" x 8.4"

Customer Reviews

A must have for those just married or about to get married!

Background: I am getting married in about 10 weeks. My fiancé and I have recently had to deal with several issues that have surfaced. We are both very open, well educated and understanding, but all of a sudden we had trouble communicating well regarding several topics. We both come from parents who are remarried, and the overall divorce rate is very high in our family which scares us both. Furthermore, my mother's second marriage is one of those wonderful relationships that are written about in children's fairytales, and lately I have felt pressured that my relationship must to compare to hers. Review: If you are married, thinking about getting married, or recently married, you owe it to yourself read this book! If you aren't hooked on the book by the end of the table of contents I would be shocked! I found this book at a local bookstore while browsing through the relationship section and it is GREAT! The book is basically a compilation of mostly lighthearted tips and pointers drawn from real life experience which would take a newly married couple many years to figure out. The book tackles many subjects, which after reading seem so simple and straight forward that I would have felt silly had I not understood them; however the truth is, I had never thought about these subjects, let alone how to deal with them. After about three hours I am half way through the book and really feel like I am learning lessons that take others years of marriage to learn. The book has also helped my confide in, and understand the many benefits of a long enduring relationship that I had not thought about. Many of the books' subjects also revolve around the controversies and hurtles that a long term relationship will eventually face. The wonderful wisdom that Charlie and Linda Bloom present, is not how to try and avoid these rather unavoidable circumstances, but instead how to use these difficult times to help your marriage grow and become stronger than it would be had these situations not occurred. This is a great feeling, especially for men whose married and single friends often say very derogatory things regarding relationships in general.

Worth reading

For newlyweds or those married for a number of years, this book has many gems of wisdom to offer. My husband and I have been married for 28 years and read the book together and found it refreshing and helpful in some areas where we recognized chronic tension in our relationship. The authors' overall assessments of a variety of relationships and wisdom for handling various issues that arise between committed couples is on target. It is worth reading and would make a good gift for weddings (or anniversaries!)

A Classic

My husband and I have been married twenty four years, and we were enthralled with the clarity and understanding of Linda and Charlie Bloom's book: 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married.The table of contents alone is a gold mine. We went down the list and checked off the concepts that we thought we ought to discuss with each other. It became an afternoon of iinsight and humor mixed with wisdom and incredible feedback of our impact on one another.Thank you Linda and Charlie for making this contribution to peace ful understanding on this planet one couple at a time. This is high spiritual work you both are doing!

A SIMPLE & WISE PREP FOR MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIP

Charlie and Linda Bloom's first book 101 THINGS I WISH I KNEW WHEN I GOT MARRIED / New World Library finally puts a face on one of my favorite quotes from Teilhard de Chardin ; The only right love is that between couples whosepassion leads them both, one through the other, to a higherpossession of their being . As a psychotherapist , with over 30 years experience dealingwith love and relationship, I can unequivocally say that relationship is the true test of who we really are. And relationship is what this book is all about. Charlie and linda take on the test of marriage and relationship with humor and pathos and each of their simple one and two page lessons are tasty morsels to be slowly digested and savored . I especially liked these ; # 10 It isn't conflict that destroys marriages; it's the cold,smoldering resentment that is bred by withholding. # 35 The cost of a lie is far greater than any advantageyou gain from speaking it. # 76 Of all the benefits of marriage, the greatest is thepossibility of using this relationship to become a moreloving person. Which leads me to my concluding point ~ this book should beread as a prep for not just marriage but for relationship in general.It's truths are simple and wise and are based on a 31 year marriage that has obviously made both Charlie and Linda more loving persons. Allen L Roland, Ph.DA practicing psychotherapist living in Sonoma , California and author of RADICAL THERAPY / Surrender To Love and Heal Yourself in Seven Sessions ~ Not Seven Years.

Don't let the title fool you...

This book gives us simple straight forward strategies for building the kind of intimate relationship most of us can only imagine - regardless of whether or not you are in a traditional marriage, living together, straight or gay.Imagine a relationship in which you can be yourself... a partnership in which you can speak your truth without causing harm...imagine sharing a level of intimacy that allows you to grow in love - for yourself, for your partner, for your world. A relationship that actually raises you and your partner to a higher level of counsciousness.There is no psycho-babble or magic bullet in this book - rather Linda and Charlie Bloom give us concrete examples of how to do partnership better. They present us with ways to share, show us how to increase trust, how to lean into each others differences, how to disagree without leaving each other bloody. These examples, while simple, are often not easy. It becomes clear that improving a relationship requires both commitment and work.By sharing their personal relationship issues, as well as their clients', we can see that the Blooms have practiced what they preach - so we don't ever feel like we're being lectured - it becomes more a case of -- look, we made these mistakes and we'd like to offer you some ways to do it better.Linda and Charlie Bloom have raised the bar on the concept of what a marriage can be - but in their book they've given us the tools to help us begin to up-level our most intimate relationship and turn it into the kind of partnership that most of us deeply desire.