10 Days to a Less Defiant Child: The Breakthrough Program for Overcoming Your Child's Difficult Behavior

by Jeffrey Bernstein

Book Overview

Occasional clashes between parents and children are not uncommon, but when defiant behavior -- such as tantrums, resistance to chores, and negativity -- becomes chronic, it can cause big problems within the family. In 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child, child and family psychologist Dr. Jeff Bernstein has developed a ground-breaking 10-day program to help parents gain back control over their defiant child or teen. This powerful and exceptionally reader-friendly...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1569243018
• ISBN13: 9781569243015
• Release Date: May 2006
• Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong Books
• Length: 287 Pages
• Weight: 0.66 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.6" x 8.3"

Customer Reviews

Deceptive Title?

In my experience, it only took about two to three days to see real results. To be sure, other parents may have more difficult situations. This book is really valuable because it organizes and presents the information in a way that is easy to understand and implement. It addresses the fundamental issues regarding communication and helps a parent gain an appreciation of the child's need to assume their own individuality. The book is not about ensuring absolute obedience; in fact, such a goal is likely to result in defiant behavior. However, if what you ultimately hope to achieve is a solid and mostly harmonious relationship with your children, you should be well served by the advice in this book. You might not end up being able to force your teen-age daughter to wear pink polka-dot corduroy knickers with dark green taffeta tops (or force her not to wear them), but you probably will be able to get her to arrive at school on time and not scream at you when you ask how the homework is coming along. Furthermore, it is better to have a child who perceives you as an understanding ally in life than one who thinks you are another source of frustration or pain. By discussing how to avoid unconstructive behavior on your part, the book's guidance goes a long way to teaching skills that allow you to influence the important aspects of growing up in a positive way.

Calm + Firm = Our Harmonious Home

This valuable book helped my wife and I really understand what was really going on when our two children become defiant. Each day of Dr. Bernstein's 10 Day program gave us ready to use tools to deal with the difficult behaviors of our seven year old daughter and four year old son. While our children don't have Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Dr. Bernstein's emphasis on us being calm, firm, and non-controlling with our children when they don't act so wonderful, has produced wonderful results. The less we overreact, the less our kids act out. We have recommended this book to friends and family and they are also getting encouraging great results with children of all ages. If you really use the methods in this book, you will find yourself with a more harmonious home.

Full of Empathy

This is the only book that didn't make me beat up on myself! We have had a child who from the first year gave us a run for the money. Love is just not enough when a child challenges just about everything you say AND do. I have read so many books and always wound up feeling like a bad parent. This book is so full of empathy and understanding for the parent it does what we have always needed -- someone who could really help us help our child and make our family life less emotionally draining and more fun. I wholeheartedly recommend this book for any and every parent who needs and wants help. Dr. Bernstein understands that a parent who beats up on themselves can't help anyone and by helping the parent help themselves, it seems to automatically translate to the child! This book really helped us tease out the differences between opposition and depression, antisocial behavior and anxiety. This is a great compendium of information and any and every parent will find something that will make a BIG difference in their child's life and family life!

A very helpful book

This book is very helpful if you are dealing with a child with oppositionality and defiant behavior. Parenting children with these types of behaviors can be draining and it is easy to lose sight of how to respond. In our house we had a litigator-in-training who could give you 10 reasons why any request I made of her was stupid! It is very easy to develop "battle fatigue" and become a less effective parent, which only does the child a disservice in the long run when they interact with the real world. The best part about this book is that the steps are easy to follow and while they can be done at your own pace, they are designed to move the process along fairly quickly. The book contains helpful insights and practical advice to help you have a more peaceful house. If you are reluctant to read this because you are afraid it will highlight all of the things you should have been doing all along, I assure you that is not the tone of this book.