Coming Out Day = Embrace and Celebrate Being You

National Coming Out Day

National Coming Out Day is an observed civil rights awareness day that was founded in 1988 by psychologist Dr. Robert Eichberg and co-director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Jean O'Leary. (October 11 was the anniversary of the 1987 National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights.) National Coming Out Day celebrates publicly coming out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or questioning, which takes an enormous amount of bravery, especially for teens and young adults.

Coming Out is a Process

Whether you've already come out, you're on the verge, or you're still figuring things out, it's an emotional process that can be difficult, and one that continues long after the words are spoken and the secret is out. The good news is that there is support available, including real people who've been where you are and want to help others, as well as online resources, and (obviously) books. Lots and lots of books, for those who are struggling with their sexuality and unsure of what to do; those who've accepted that they're gay but are still afraid to come out; and those who consider themselves out of the closet but realize they have farther to go.

The Human Rights Campaign's National Coming Out Project

Betty DeGeneres could be anybody's mom, but she's not...she's Ellen's. As the first straight spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming Out Project, her insightful, universally touching, and uncommonly wise words are as much for helping parents whose children have come out understand them, as they are for helping those who've come out and are being rejected by their families feel less alone. (Love, Ellen is also an excellent read to give to your parents when you're coming out!)

How to Come Out

Michelangelo Signorile's Outing Yourself: How to Come Out as Lesbian or Gay to Your Family, Friends and Coworkers pretty much covers everything on how to come out and offers structure, guidance, and straightforward advice that makes it actionable. There's no magic formula for the journey, but the stress of coming out is never as hard as the stress of staying in was, and his 14-step program includes exercises, meditation notes, anger checks, and accounts of others who've come out successfully. For the unfamiliar, Signorile is an American journalist, author, and radio talk show host who's #27 on the LGBT History Month 2018 Icon list for his decades of work as a gay rights activist. (His first book, Queer in America: Sex, the Media, and the Closets of Power upended the closeted world.)

It Gets Better

Dan Savage is the award-winning author of the internationally syndicated sex-advice column "Savage Love" and the editor of The Stranger, Seattle's weekly newspaper. He's also written six books and collaborated on several others, one of the most important of which is It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living that includes contributions from Ellen DeGeneres, David Sedaris, Tim Gunn, Michael Cunningham, and others.

The It Gets Better Project is a nonprofit organization with a mission to uplift, empower, and connect lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth around the globe. It was founded in 2010 by Savage and his husband, Terry Miller, in response to the suicides of bullied LGBT youth, and provides access to a library of uplifting and inspiring stories of hope, resilience, and determination. It encourages people to share their stories of how it got better and provide young adults with the inspiration they wish they'd had while growing up.

LGBT Youth Fiction

LGBT Adult Fiction

And finally, a few things to keep in mind: 1) Coming out is a cultural rite of passage for LGBT people, so no matter how scary it may seem, you're not alone; 2) The biggest incentive (and reward) to coming out regarding sexual orientation and/or gender identity is the freedom of living openly, and 3) Every person who comes out becomes a new advocate for equality, so there's that.

Read more by Beth Clark